Whole Life Challenge...Day 5

I signed up for the biggest challenge of my whole life about a month ago, its coincidentally called the "Whole Life Challenge". I've been doing crossfit at Crossfit Surf City pretty consistently for about a year and my gym is participating in a world wide challenge to become a fitter more healthier version of yourself. It wasn't mandatory to sign up, but I decided I wanted to as soon as I heard about it. I have been telling myself for as long as I can remember that I wanted to get into the best shape of my life. Well people, that takes some serious work and dedication and I am the worlds biggest self-saboteur for some reason. 

This challenge seemed to be just the thing I needed. I am not doing it alone in fact in my box (gym) alone there are 85 of us going through this together and worldwide I believe there are 250+ Crossfit affiliates that are participating. Here's the rundown on what exactly I am doing:

• 56 days of STRICT paleo with few added food rules i.e. 

• No Grains or starches including wheat, barley, oats, breads, rice (including wild rice), quinoa, pasta, potatoes, etc.

• No Corn or Soy (inlcuding oils)

• No Sugar or Sweetener of any kind including refined sugar, raw sugar, cane juice, evaporated cane juice, honey, agave, maple syrup, Truvia, aspartame, NutraSweet, sucralose, etc.

• No Dairy including milk, cheese, buttermilk, yogurt, kefir, sour cream, etc. EXCEPTION - Butter

• No Alcohol, Soda, or Juice. EXCEPTION – Lemon and lime juice

• No Artificial or Processed ingredients or foods. 
Any non-traditional food chemical is not permitted. This prohibition includes guar gum and agar. No food that required anything other than traditional food preparation methods such as cooking, drying, or curing. Food from jars, cans, or boxes are permitted as long as their ingredients or preparation do not violate the general nutrition rules.  

AND that's it. Easy right? :) I think this will look pretty similar to a blog post a few posts back when I attempted to do the Whole30 challenge on my own, yea I failed pretty early at that, and now I am doing 56 days and I KNOW I am NOT going to fail!!!

The difference is the community, the accountability we all have with each other and how I am determined to not let myself get in my way.

So today is day 5 of this adventure, I am feeling pretty good today, I am amazed at how many things have sugar listed in the ingredients that I never even thought of before like bacon, chili and lime cashews, jarred roasted red bell peppers, salami??!! Seriously its no wonder truly ridding yourself of sugar is pretty difficult when its EVERYWHERE.

Some things that I've noticed are I will think I want something to eat but when I really think about it I'm either bored or it just sounds fun and I'm not really hungry at all. This tends to happen around 3:30pm daily. Sometimes its just out of sheer habit, like going through Starbucks and getting a mocha because I 've just left the house to run errands. So if nothing else comes form this challenge, being able to re-train my brain or at least recognize my triggers will be great.

So here we go in this great adventure, day 5 half way done....51 1/2 days to go!

Because I want to remember

Ethan has a pen pal at school, part of his homework last night was to write a letter to him. His name also happens to be Ethan. I cried when I read his letter, its so simple, honest and pure. I never want to forget his innocence and blissful youthfulness at 8 years old, so I am posting it.

Dear Ethan,
 Do you like puppies and parties? Do you like ice cream and airplanes and candy and horses and magic and magnets? Do you like pizza and cool toys and do you have an xbox 360 and do you like cookies and chocolate and are you allergic to bees and squirrel and do you like to play games?
Sincerely, Ethan

Beyond priceless....especially the squirrel part haha. LOVE IT.

Drugs during labor, and a bit more...

So I am getting ready for midwifery school, and I have to take an NRP (Neonatal Resuscitation Program) exam. The written part is online and the skills part is at a hospital.

Anyways, I going through the information and test tonight and I came across this question and answer that kind of blew me away. Given that so many mothers, myself included (C-section with oldest, Demerol and Epidural with middle), have chosen to have drugs of some sort during labor and birth.

I have heard and read that receiving drugs in labor can cause difficulty breathing and being "alert" in the baby at delivery, however I know that I know this because I have researched it and dug for information on it.

I DID NOT know this prior to my oldest son's or daughters birth, and I find it interesting and sad that care providers are not being more upfront and honest about the true side-effects or possible side-effects of these drugs given out like candy on labor wards.

My intention of this post is not at all to be condescending or administer the ever present "mommy guilt" we all have about EVERYTHING, but just for information and education. Like I said, I read it and it just hit me like, wow, women need to know this information. Informed consent, informed decision making.

Education is power.

So without further ramblings, here is the question, the answer and the explanation of said drugs being referred to.

Q. A woman received a narcotic for analgesia 30 minutes prior to delivery. Her baby has poor respiratory effort following birth. After suctioning, drying, and stimulation for 30 seconds fail to improve  the baby's respiratory effort, what should you do next?

A. Give Naloxone

Naloxone is a type of opioid antagonist. It blocks the actions of opioid medications*.

Naloxone is used to reverse breathing problems (respiratory depression) in newborn babies whose mothers were given opioids during labor.

*Opiates used in labor:
-Morphine
-Stadol
-Fentanyl
-Demerol
-Nubain

How can opiates affect a baby during labor and birth:
-Central nervous system depression
-Respiratory depression
-Impaired early breastfeeding*
-Altered neurological behavior
-Decreased ability to regulate body temperature

*I had Demerol and Epidural with Addison, she was a sleepy thing when she was born and slept A LOT during the first 24hrs and I had breastfeeding issues with her.... although I will never know why, in hindsight I am not convinced this wasn't the reason...grrr.

Here are some of the drugs that make up the cocktail that is the Epidural:

Bupivacaine, chloroprocaine, or lidocain. They are often delivered in combination with opioids or narcotics, such as fentanyl and sufentanil. These medications may be used in combination with epinephrine, fentanyl, morphine, or clonidine.

I find it interesting that we are so obsessed about what goes into our mouths as pregnant woman for fear of harming our baby, and after the baby is born we are so obsessed with what kind of food, or medicine, or germ it is or isn't given. Yet those precious hours when a baby is making its journey earthside its almost as if we forget that it is being affected by what goes on in that process.

I wonder why so many of us just think the hospital is the safest place to give birth, when all of the above could happen because of something that is so ROUTINELY given during labor, not to mention getting other drugs to induce or augment (speed up, help, whatever they want to call it) labor.

ALSO the staggering C-section rate for "failure to progress, or fetal distress" and then you wonder, is my baby in distress because it is or because you put it there??!!

I truly believe the safest place to give birth is at home, with an experience, loving midwife. She will sit with you for 8-9-10 or 15 hours (more if that's what it takes) while you labor and birth your baby. She won't tell you that if you stall at 7cm for awhile that the you have failed, she will help you find ways to move forward, she will allow your body and baby the time it needs to complete the birth process.

There are no rules, no guidelines, no time constraints.

She will allow your body and your baby to determine when that magical BIRTHday will happen.

No fear, no 'deadline', no negativity about your body needing help. Just support, trust, encouragement, and wicked knowledge on all things birth.

Don't just write of home-birth because of you THINK its all about, or THINK the dangers are, I don't care if its your first pregnancy or 4th, you CAN make the choice.

Had a C-section? No problem, VBACS at home, called HBAC's are very successful, you have so many more cards stacked in your favor at home, I promise :)

Have questions? All the midwives I know are more than happy to consult with you and answer them all, no strings attached.

Food for thought, that is all, cooked with love I promise.

It is my passion and desire to give information you may have never been given, it is with a true and pure heart I do so.

(Student) Midwife Mel xoxo

Sleeping and Eating

Sleeping
We started a couple weeks ago trying to transition Jude to sleeping a bit better. SUCCESS. and by success I mean Daddy can actually be the one to put him to sleep. We have a great routine with him now, Lovey Duck, Jewel lullaby CD plays, and daddy walks him around the darkened room until he's all relaxed, then they lay down on the bed for a bit longer and he drifts to sleep. 


This is amazing because it means I have my evenings back. It is beyond blissful to NOT be the sole bedtime person for him. I used to nurse him to sleep, and that used to be a relatively quick process, but now he's older and he nurses way less during the day, so he wants to make up for it at bedtime and this could mean a good 45 minute nurse fest, which by the end of I was too tired to get back up to do anything, even watch TV, so I would either fall asleep OR make Jude stay up until I was ready for bed which in turn created a tired, fussy toddler the next day (or that evening). SO I knew it was time for change. 


The change was so easy, I am really grateful for that. Jude and daddy get lovely snuggles, and I can do whatever I want in the evening, if I so choose. No more opting out of movies, concerts, dinner, late night TV. 


Looking back I realize that the past 16 months of my life have been so dedicated to Jude. However, I wouldn't change it for anything, it's over now and knowing I have done what was best for him is awesome.  


Overnights are a different question, so that get-away with the hubby is going to have to wait. Jude still wakes once or twice in the night, but I know that this too shall pass. And all too quickly and I will miss it. Although I do plan on attempting night-weaning when he gets to be around 18mos, old enough to understand a bit more and we can have a "conversation" about night nursing. All in good time.


Eating
So the hubby and I follow a way of eating called Paleo. I am not going to go into it now because its alot and I am not in the mood BUT you can read all about it here if you would like. Or just google it and you will find tons of blogs, websites, etc on the topic. 


We have a cheat day every Saturday where we eat whatever we want, this is our lifestyle, "good" for 6 days a week, splurge 1 day a week. It works for us, it makes it easy to maintain, and gives us the knowledge that if we REALLY want that doughnut, cake, cookie, margarita, pasta, bread, etc we can have it....on Saturday, and Saturday is never really that far away.


Weeks come and go, and we are mostly good, and sometimes not, but I also feel that life is to short too be totally psycho about it, but as a general rule, we follow this way of eating. 


Problem: We both want to shred the fat and lean out. 
Solution: Be super strict on "diet" and NO cheating.
Decision by the hubby and me: Whole30 - you can read all about that here too if you would like.


Basic Premise:


Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial. No maple syrup, honey, agave nectar, Splenda, Equal, Nutrasweet, xylitol, stevia, etc.  Read your labels because companies sneak sugar into products in ways you might not recognize.


Do not eat processed foods. This includes protein shakes, pre-packaged snacks or meals, protein bars, milk substitutes, etc.


Do not consume alcohol, in any form. 


Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, millet, oats, corn, rice, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa.  Yes, we said corn… for the purposes of this program, corn is a grain!  This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on.  Again, read your labels.


Do not eat legumes. This includes beans of all kinds (black, kidney, lima, etc.), peas, lentils, and peanuts.  No peanut butter, either.  This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, tamari and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin).


Do not eat dairy. This includes all cow, goat or sheep’s milk, cream, butter, cheese (hard or soft), kefir, yogurt (even Greek), and sour cream.


Do not eat white potatoes. It’s somewhat arbitrary, but they are carbohydrate-dense and nutrient poor.


SO this is normally what we do in everyday life EXCEPT, I like Truvia and cream in my coffee. I like cheese and greek yogurt occasionally, I really like red wine and dark chocolate, add that in to cheat day, which is an all out carb fest of every variety and you come up with no results, no weight gain, but no weight lost and although i am not AS concerned with "weight" because I do Crossfit too, so that builds lots of muscle I DO know I have fat hanging around that doesn't need to be on me. 


So we are going for it...30 days.


Today is Day #2: I am feeling ok, I had cinnamon in my coffee this morning, and it wasn't that bad, I could get used to it. I think this week and particularly Saturday will be the hardest, not getting my weekly daily mocha from Starbucks and not getting to pig out out once a week. BUT I am looking forward to feeling AWESOME, sleeping better, having better clarity and just maybe taking a few LBS off.


I am posting my starting measurements for personal reference and to keep me an honest woman. Will also try and do updates every few days of how its going.


Stats:
Current               Goal
Bust 32.5"             32"
Waist 30.5"          26"
Hips 38"               35"
Thigh 25"              am ok with that, just want to tone the crap out of them :)
Bicep 12.5"          not sure what a good bicep measurement is, as long as mine have the awesome sculpted apperance and NO bat wing action I am good. Currently I have a bit of sculpting going on, and some bat wing swing.

Why I want to be a midwife.

I believe that the birth experience matters more than its given credit for, for mom and baby.

I want woman, couples, and families to experience the true wonderment that is bringing forth life.

I want words like, "amazing", "ecstatic", "beautiful", "peaceful" and "exactly what I wanted" to be the words used when a woman recalls her birth experience.

I want to be the person a woman turns to to voice her fears and concerns in the knowledge that I truly care and will listen and help her through those moments.

I want to help and watch as a woman becomes empowered by her birth experience.

I LOVE bellies and babies.

I want to be a wealth of knowledge and information so that at any point if I am questioned, I can answer.

I want to pull back the "curtain" of fear surrounding birth to anyone who wants to take a peek.

I want to help someone else avoid unnecessary birth trauma.

I want to help someone recover from birth trauma.

I want to show that there is a different way to give birth, a better way, a way that they may not have thought was possible.

and most of all, I have never in my life felt something so deep in my soul, so pulled towards, so destined for, as this.

I know its going to be a long and sometimes difficult journey. I know there will be days and moments I will feel completely drained, physically and emotionally. I know I have A LOT to learn. But I'm ready. I am ready like I don't think I have ever been ready for anything before.

So here we go...

Ebb and Flow...of life.

I feel like I have these moments, epihanies, daily. I always think to write about them, and then life gets busy and I don't. Today was a big one for me. So I am taking the time. (for the record its taken me four days to get this post finished lol)

Having Jude has been such a huge blessing in my life for a million reasons. Things that happened with the births and first year of life with my other kids made me hungry for answers, and something different. I had an innate sense that something wasn't right. So I read, I explored, I asked myself questions that were sometimes hard to answer because of the painful truth I had to admit...which was, not every choice I made was the right one. Thats ok, when you know better, you do better... right.

Long story short is that Jude has been a 100% "attached" baby. In every sense of the word. He still nurses on demand, sleeps with us in our bed, has NEVER been left to cry-it out for any reason, was accidentally a baby-led solids starter, non-vaccinated, born at home, IN the water, amber necklace wearing, cloth-diapered bottomed, baby who is worn around in various slings kid.

I have loved every second of it.

However, he is getting older, I am starting new life adventures, and I have felt for a few weeks that its time to change one aspect of this equation.

I am ready for a full nights sleep.

So we have started the process for this. I am reading a great book on
how to do this humanely, and sensitively to his needs and emotions. This will not be a 3 day and its done kind of deal, This could take a few months, and again, I am ok with this. My goal is that by the time he is 2 (that is 8 months away still) he is sleeping through the night, and co-sleeping with his big brother and not us.

We have purchased a "lovey" a stuffed duck toy, bought a lullaby CD (Jewel), and started a bedtime ritual. Bath, baby massage, read a book, lay in bed, nurse while listening to CD and cuddling ducky, drift off to dreamland. SO far so good. Tonight is night four and he was officially "in bed" at 7:15pm, this is the earliest EVER since he's made his appearance earth-side!!! WOOHOO

So we keep going with this process, and with gentle encouragement from me, hopefully he will be sleeping through the night in the next couple months. If not, thats ok, he will someday :)

The biggest sort of "affirmation" moment is that my aunt flo decided to make her FIRST visit since Jude's birth (I am sorry if this is TMI, but its the truth and relevant to the post so...) the day after we started this process. It was like my body's way of saying, yep if you wanted you could have another kid now, and we know that means its time to get some good sleep. So its bittersweet, my little guy is not so little anymore, life marches on, and all that business.

Here is a pic of my not so little guy playing with his sister, he saw her playing in daddy's shirt off the clothes line outside, and pulled one down to play in too.... #growingup

Bad mom...apparently.

 I have never claimed to be a perfect mom. In fact, most nights I go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow, I am going to do _____ better. Be more loving, more patient, more creative, etc" I am sure a million mothers a night lay in bed thinking what they could do better, how they can help their little ones become more well adjusted, happier, able to deal better with their hurricane of emotions they experience over the course of one day. 

 I feel that I have grown a lot in the past 8 years as a mom. I started out just doing the best I could, just sort of "making it". Over the years, I have read, and learned, and figured out what works for me and us and our family. Basically I still do the best I can, try each day to love my kids, and always, without fail, go to bed with resolve to do better the next day, what else can I do?! 

 I have three kids, two of them are little, 1 and 3. One of those is a girl, the 3 year old. She likes to scream. No one told me about the sounds that can emit from a little girl, and how often. She screams ALL. THE. TIME. I swear she turned 1 and turned into a screamer. She screams if someone looks at her sideways. 

 This, also for the record, drives me bananas. Some days I probably deal with it better than others, and to give her credit, she is learning and growing and using words and not shrieks more. But still, its a process, and honestly I don't always react when she is screaming about something, especially if its a fit throwing moment, or something that really I don't want to waste my energy on, OR if I can feel that I am at my limit for patience that day, and I know that if I even open my mouth or walk over to her I may say or do something I will later regret.

  ALL this to say, imagine to my horror when on Saturday our neighbor popped her head over the fence, around 1 o'clock in the afternoon, while I was out back doing something, and Addison was standing at the back door screaming bloody murder because she couldn't open the door. I was trying to get Addie to stop screaming and just ask for help, ya know, like a big girl, without losing my marbles and yelling at her. SO right in the middle of this, the neighbor pops up, and says "HI, um I am trying to take a nap over here, and well, I understand that it must be hard with...3 kids.... but the screaming is really starting to get old, and we live really close and it really echo's, so if you could please try to keep it quieter that would be great." 

I. was. floored. I mean really?! REALLY?! Keep reading, it gets better,

 Ok so moving on... SUNDAY afternoon. We had been gone most of the day at the beach, and when we got home we decided to grill out, the kids were outside playing, very nicely I might add. And something happened that scared Jude, and he started to cry, as Gordon was walking over to him to pick him up this yell comes from over the fence "Keep it down, this is REALLY getting old." Ok so I tell my husband to please go over there, and tell them to please stop telling us how to raise our children. To tell them that children scream and cry and yell and carry on. They are living in this thing called life, and its loud. Deal. 

 So Gordon goes to try and before she got around to slamming the door in his face, she said they are gong to call the police and Child Protective Services because they believe we are abusing our children. Their quality of life has declined since we moved in because of the "non-stop" screaming and crying, and we don't do anything to try and stop it, ever. It's going on from 6:30am-8:30pm and they have had enough. Que. Door slam.

 Ok, what?! WHAT!??!?!?!? I sort of lost my mind for a minute. I started crying, I mean as a mom we truly deal with enough guilt about the job we are doing, and to actually have someone threaten to call CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES because you aren't attending to your child's every single whimper is too much. I mean really. 

 We called our landlord to tell him what was going on, and he told us that they were miserable people with nothing better to do than complain. Apparently they called the police when the guy who lives in the apartment in back moved in too, to complain about his moving truck being in front of their house, on the PUBLIC street. So he moved it to the alley in the back, they called police because it was sort of in front of their garage (which they don't use for their vehicles because they use the public street in front of the house). They called police to say the builders who were building the extension on this house were peeping toms, and were also being too loud. 

 So all in all I know its not ME or my parenting, BUT still, what nightmare.